lads

rather stereotypical topic for a 15 year old girl i know but bear with. you see i know a lot of people believe that at the age of 15 you cannot love. i know this because I’ve been told it time and time again. i have had a few boyfriends here and there but really do they mean anything? no. it is mainly awkward meet ups and trying new things together and purely being fond of the others company

so when does this turn into being “love”. surely love is simply putting another persons happiness before yours, in which case all of us can love surely at any age. teenagers are stuck in limbo between being too young to do half the things they want to do and too old to do the other half. adults often wonder why teenagers are so rebellious and yet its inevitable since our society can be so oppressive.

the problem is, as i have discovered, yes young people can love, but they make stupid decisions and fuck up all too often because they are so inexperienced. this is where it gets messy and people get hurt. my best friend gave everything to a boy who loved her sure but wasn’t aware enough to deal with that. love is an ability not an emotion and this lad wasn’t sure what to do. this is where it is dangerous because you can therefore feel rejected and lost when you lose someone you are so close to.

i myself have had a fair share of heartbreak. it’s hard to avoid. and with that first scar the next time is always just a little harder. i’m sure everyone remembers their first crush. the person they stayed up for every night just to talk to, the person they would alter their journey around school for just so you could catch their eye in the corridor, the person who’s mere existence would give you butterflies in an instant, the person you compare everyone to…the first person you ever loved.

feels like the end of the world at the time, but it isn’t. time doesn’t heal pain but memories and scars fade as we relearn how to love, and repeat the whole process again

lyra x

15 and counting

heya

first blog post. i don’t really know how this is going to go it’s merely a recovery exercise

i have lived for 15 years and have lived through a lot in those 15 years. i have, like many, fallen into the spiral of self harm depression bulimia and suicide. that is all thoroughly depressing tho. u see it’s hard to love yourself when so many around you hate you. for 6 years i have self harmed but hey thats improving. i guess what I’m trying to say is there is a way out

i know so many people suffer from this, with society being the way it is. i am by no means perfect, nor an advocate for recovery, I’m about average as you get but here is my life…

lyra x